When You Least Expect It!

Some days the whole world seems upside down and then somehow, improbably and when you least expect it, the world rights its self again.

You know that "Ah Ha" moment we all get. The one that kind of explains answers to questions that you had days, months, maybe even years ago! Well I've had those moments a lot over the past couple of days. Its been like some kind of realignment. I am not really sure how to put it all into perspective just yet but I feel more clarity than I have in the last couple of months. 

I've made a plan for advancement with my job and I have the full support of my boss (which is an awesome bonus; she is the only person I have ever worked for that cares more about the employee then looking at us as just a replaceable #). I've made the decision, at this point, to hold off on any more school since I already have all the classes needed for nursing classes minus the actual NUR courses that I have to be in the program to take. I plan on using that time to find my center wholly and completely so that my main focus will remain on nursing school and nursing alone. I've allowed a lot of distractions in my life which is why I am in this boat in the first place but this gal is playing no more. 

After really putting some thought into it... I finally took some advice from a friend, Tiff, and decided that I should go out. An hour. One hour can change everything, forever. An hour can save your life. An hour can change your life. Sometimes an hour is just a gift we give ourselves. For some, an hour can mean almost nothing. For others, an hour means all the difference in the world but in the end, it’s still just an hour. One of many, many more to come. Sixty minutes, thirty six hundred seconds, that’s it and it starts all over again and who knows what the next hour might hold [Thanks Grey's Anatomy <3]. I've now been out for the 2nd time as of last night. 

The 1st guy I met up with, we'll call him Jake, was a little quirky and I could tell from the moment he opened his mouth he just wasnt for me. I thought it was just me sabotaging the night and so I pushed thru it and tried to find some kind of connection but ended up leaving Jake empty handed because the night was over when I told him I was just not that interested! haha Jake was a gentleman even when the gay guy turned straight at the bar was trying to tear me away from him. He watched as I danced with my new gay/straight friend and then when he realized the other guy's intentions and followed me around like a puppy dog. I am not the kind of girl that wants a puppy... I have one! I need a man in my life who wants to be that... A MAN! He walked me to my car that night and attempted the whole goodnight kiss - it reminded me of 7th grade when Josh Rackley tried kissing me inbetween the buses at the end of the school day and I turned my face so he couldn't kiss me on the lips - I pulled a Heisman! My first time out with someone since August and he thought he'd be the one with the privilege... SIKE!

On another note, You know when you meet someone and you have an instant connection - that is what I felt last night. The guy I was with last night was the complete opposite, from the time I stepped out of the car to the time I stepped back in he had me hooked. We'll call him Jack! There is something about Jack's personality that I can't get my hands around, something that draws me in every time I look into his eyes. I'd be lying if I didn't say he was too good to be true... but a gal can wish right? Looking forward to my next night out with him! 

Its nice to have things to look forward to again. I've been so bogged down with work and school and now I am about to have some more time to spend thinking about myself so I am soooooooo looking forward to that aspect. I decided to celebrate that by buying myself a ring like my engagement ring... yes I did! I loved everything about that ring but now it just sits there staring back at me every morning by the bathroom sink because I will not put it back on my finger because of all the pain the boy that put it on my finger caused however I've let it be a constant reminder for some reason of that pain by leaving it on the sink and I'm tired of looking at it. I deserve to be happy, times were hard but I'm built tough!!! Oval Blue Topaz center stone with Lab-Created White Sapphire and Diamond Frame! I cannot wait to pick it up from the store... did I mention it also comes with a matching necklace?

It'll be great to put this beauty on my finger and tuck the old one away with all the other wedding paraphernalia.