When All Good Things Come to an End!

♫♪ There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft

And their words inviting

There was a time when love was blind

And the world was a song

And the song was exciting

There was a time

Then it all went wrong ♪♫

I guess its just hard falling out of love with someone. This was supposed to be the last person I ever dated, the last person I kissed, the last person I would ever be intimate with but now I'm having to start all over. I still feel broken no matter how much time that goes by. I've picked myself back up and have been moving forward. I've learned to not let the little things affect me like they used to but the inadequacy I feel just never goes away. If this so called "nice guy" couldnt love me then how is anyone supposed to? I am not a bad person, I give too much in relationships, and yet I still fear every person that walks into my life. I've said it once and I'll say it again - I am fragile, I am broken, I'm a mess; I try to keep it together on a regular basis because behind this smile I am falling apart at the seams. I miss him everyday, I miss what we had, I miss his family, I just miss us. 

but....

Its been a long time coming... I have decided to sell my wedding dress. I have kept my dress in the back of my closet because it has been the dress I've wanted my entire life. That dress was every ideal image I had for the perfect wedding that I would have with the man that I loved. However, its just that... it, the dress, was not just a dress but it is a symbol of my love for a man that didnt have the same feelings for me anymore. That dress symbolized my love, my dedication, my heart and my soul going into becoming one soul and sharing a lifetime with one person. I guess I didnt really want to realize that until I was reminded of it again last night. I've made up every excuse for holding on to an object that ties me to someone that didnt love me. 

Well this is my liberation. 

"Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't. In the face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together."