Chalk Outline

I've been cursed. I've been crossed.

I've been beaten by the ones that get me off.

I've been cut. I've been opened up.

I've been shattered by the ones I thought I loved

All you left behind

Is a chalk outline

- Three Days Grace

Today has had its ups and downs... mostly ups I am happy to report. I woke up this morning thanking God for another day and asking he continue to give me a positive attitude. I had already woken up late and when I called into work to receive my assignment, I do believe the 1st words out of my mouth were "You're kidding right?!?". The floor I was assigned to was not one that I particularly favor. So it was then as I was putting on my uniform and makeup that I asked God for patience today and to keep my eyes on the prize instead of declaring a bad day from the start.

As I got to work, I happened to be pulling up the same time as a friend and we walked inside to find we were just down the hall from each other. As the day went by we were occasionally able to get together chat/vent and keep on moving then by lunch time he showed me the rooftop of the hospital where we had lunch and talked about some of the chaos we are surrounded by on a daily basis. I have to say it was the first time I've ever been on the rooftop of the hospital and it was quite refreshing to just be outdoors. Our break seemed to fly by and before we knew it it was over and we were headed back to our respective floors. The floor itself was not that bad today. Busy but steady. At times even a little chaotic but nothing like I was used to every other time I have been assigned to that floor. However, once again I think it makes a big difference the people that you work with because they were certainly all very wonderful today. Right after work, Victoria and I headed to the gym and of course had our round of Cardio followed by some weighted exercises. I cannot believe how much better I feel everytime walk into the gym. Its a whole motivation in itself and before we know it we've been there 2 hours and it just seems to go by so quickly. I just love the way I feel at the end of the day and of course I sleep so much better. 

So that was all the great things I did today... so for the downs of the day...

I found myself talking about things that have happened, things I want to happen, and just things in general. My ultimate response when someone asked me why did I allow certain things to happen or why I reacted to certain things the way I did... Love was always my answer. Sometimes you dont know the effect love has on your emotions until it has completely consumed you and you feel like you just cant let go of that feeling. Makes me think of the women who get beaten on a regular basis and yet are "so in love" that they cannot get out of such an abusive relationship. No my relationship was not abusive... I just used that as an example but it made me wonder about what it was in my head that really made me hold on. Maybe I was so consumed with my version of love that I did not see we were losing touch long before this ended, I didnt see that he was unhappy, and I didnt see that I was pushing him right into the comforting arms of another girl. At the end of the day, I knew in my heart that I wasnt able to comfort him at the end of his bad days at work and that broke my heart but just like my bad/rough days at work he didnt know how to comfort me either. They say opposites attract and we were certainly opposites but at the end of the day sometimes love really isnt enough to keep two people together when everything else seems to put a wedge between you. Its amazing how much you miss the little things that got on your nerves when there is nothing to get on your nerves anymore. So to sum it up... Listen to Chalk Outline by Three Days Grace. I listened to it while I was in the gym tonight and its the song that got me thinking!