Right thru Me

You let me win, you let me ride. You let me rock, you let me slide, & when they looking you let me hide. Defend my honor, Protect my pride. The Good advice I always hated but looking back it made me greater.You always told me forget the haters just get my money, just get my weight up. Know when I'm lying, Know when I'm crying, Its like you got it down to a science. 

- Nicki Minaj

Today started out on such a great note, I could not let it go to waste. I was on 7 Reynolds again today and for the 1st time ever... I went 12 hours with NO rapid response or code status! We came close a time or two but did not have to actually run with it!


From the time that I walked on the floor this morning I was met with "Thank God, Stephanie is here... we can get thru any code today with those compressions and we're going to have a good day!" For the 1st time I smiled and accepted what happened/how I reacted and the fact that I did the best I could. As the day went by there were little things that continued to brighten up my day... my patients, my coworkers, my attitude! The fact that we had a full hall (25 patients) and the 3rd NA never showed up didnt even seem to phase me... which NEVER happens. That latter part alone drives me nuts especially on dayshift however the girls kept a smile on my face. It was about lunch time when I sat down and was EATING when I realized I was alone and smiling/laughing at myself. I was already happy about how my day was going but that seemed to perk me up even more. Some of the nurse's showed up and we chatted and laughed and cut up and I again realized that my day couldnt get any better.



As the day went on my spirit stayed high. Its amazing the difference a smile makes on one person's face and how it seems to illuminate a room. Then I remembered the Message from God that I received last night before falling asleep -

Even when you feel ugly or depressed or guilty or ashamed, there is an inner spark in you which is light. This light is your beauty. This light is your reflection of God. You are a child of God, thus you are beautiful.

Some how I seemed to have rekindled my spark and people began to notice. Not to mention, I have continued to keep up with an old friend of mine and he's always know the right things to say. The best part is he, too, has gone thru the same situation as I have and so it's so easy to talk to him and he understands just what I'm going thru without passing judgement or getting bored or telling me to get over it and find another fish in the sea. we have found that we can rely on each other thru thick and thin and can even say/share the hard stuff. Thanks for being such a great friend Mike, your mom was right about you being such a wonderful person!! Thanks for being you!!